Last month, I started my month's post with a rant of my sufferings.
I am just an ordinary college student with difficulties in life. There's no person with no burden on shoulders. There are plenty of hindrances that discourage me to attain my goals -- academics, health, social life, and myself. They are all needed to grow, but they are pulling me down also. How can I easily have a proper time management if others do not believe in me? How can I have a good time table if many are relying to me too much? Can I even at least experience happiness without others questioning what I want to do with my life?
I am not being rebellious now. I don't remember anyone being stepped on. I don't remember hurting other people. I don't remember doing anything wrong to them. I consider every aspect before I finalize my decisions.
Why is it that my name is only famous when:
1. They need something from me.
2. They want to ask something.
Why is my name forgotten when:
1. They did wrong things to me.
What have I done wrong? Is it because I am being me that things are getting crazier and messed up now?
I am becoming stupider with my subjects now. THIS IS NOT ME!
I feel like I am almost on the verge of falling from the top spot. I can hear others ridiculing me already. It is really painful to bear. I do not want to be mad at you, but I only want your motivation to up bring all my driving forces. Is it hard to say, "You can do it!"? Is it wrong for me to admit that I do not know a certain thing? Do I have to lie about that? I am not perfect, and will never be.
Please do not judge people. We all have flaws. No one can be of par with God. We all must accept our strengths and weaknesses. We are all created with different talents.
I am so stressed.
I am almost broken.
I can't understand why people cannot even think what others feel. They only live to find the negative characteristics of people. This is so not good.
//end of rant