Inside Reality's Devastation

I wanna shout. I wanna yell.

I am so powerless.

I thought everything will be okay if I insist myself to the positive side of my every day.

WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU ALL APPRECIATE MY HARDWORK?

WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I DIDN'T RELY TO YOUR STRENGTHS?

WHY? WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I NEVER ASKED ANYTHING FROM YOU TO GAIN SOMETHING FOR MYSELF?

Why is everything turning to waste? All my efforts seem to be unwanted. I’ve been with bad luck for few days already … AM I REALLY A FAILURE?

I want to cry. I really want to cry now.

I thought everything will be resolved once I spend more time with my friends. Yes, I am really happy with their company, but once it's the time to go home, miseries haunt me.

WHY? AM I REALLY A LETDOWN?

Am I still not enough?

Are all my efforts still not enough?

Do I have to be perfect?

I am feeling so terrible.

I feel so useless.

All I did for the past few days was smile to cover up the grief I was and am still feeling.

What is this post for?

NOTHING.

No one will empathize.

No one can understand.

All these blues I am experiencing are out of every person’s business.

I might break any time.

I am so frustrated.

I am so hopeless.

Of course, I am not happy. So even if I did have good achievements within the week, they are still overshadowed by my melancholy due to the harshness of reality. If only I can escape the real world just for this day and will return once I am fully recovered.

Sorrow is one of the major reasons why my heart is racing in an unwanted rhythm.